I really haven’t blogged about anything sexually in the past, but I’m going to open up in this post and talk about the importance of after care for your sub. I have been active for about 5 years heavily in the fetish community, and I cringe everything I hear horror stories about oblivious Doms Let’s talk about something called a SUBDROP.
Subdrop is usally the result of impact play. Impact play can include things like heavy spanking, paddling, flogging, caning, whipping, etx.. The application of pain release two key chemicals in the body.
1) Adrenaline. Adrenaline is released at the onset of pain as part of the fight or flight response. It significally enchances the heart rate, dilates the pupils to allow more light in, makes you more sensative to touch.
In the moment, adrenaline can be hard to notice, it comes on so fast and so hard that you don’t always realize it. But when you come down from the adrenaline, it crashes on you. You feel cold because you blood has moved away from your extremities. You feel shaky because your mind is crashing, and you might even feel a little feint as your blood pressure which was moments ago sky-high, is now plummeting.
2) Endorphins: Endorphins are a really cool chemical that the body produces to make us feel good when maybe we shouldn’t. It helps makes pain. When you laugh for example, you body releases them to mask the pain that is caused by the spasming of your abdominal muscles. The rush can’t last forever unfortunately, and eventually laughing happily turns into laughing so hard that it hurts. That’s because the endorphins are wearing off and suddenly you can feel the discomfort (or pain) that your body was masking.
When pain is applied to a submissive by their dominant, the body releases massive doses of endorphins to counter-act the painful sensations, and the release of them can actually make the experience of pain, quite pleasurable. It’s been compared to morphine, and can make the submissive feel like they’re flying or having an out-of-body experience.
If you’ve ever had the privilege of seeing great sadists and masochists play together, you’ll understand exactly what I’m talking about and how beautiful it can be. It’s also why a dominant must be very good at understanding where their submissive is at, and well attuned to their facial expressions and orientations. Dominants, even deeply sadistic ones, care about, love, protect, and cherish their submissives, and that care can be seen in the intensity of their attentiveness.
The drop (subdrop) of course comes afterwards. When the impact play stops, so does the bodies dump of chemicals. Suddenly the paddling that hurt at first, then became pleasurable – now REALLY hurts. And the feeling of flying that the submissive was experiencing is now a physical and emotional CRASH. The submissive is likely in a fair amount of pain, potentially disoriented, light headed or dizzy due to the lack of blood (and therefor oxygen to the brain as the body pooled it’s resources internally), and certainly emotionally drained due to any adrenaline that is still pulsing through their veins.
That’s why AFTERCARE is so critical.
You’ll see the submissive come down from the St. Andrews cross, off the spanking bench, or out of the stocks and be held and loved by their dominant in a nice quiet, safe space where they can be together, alone. Snuggles will be had, lotions will be applied, hair will be stroked, tears will be kissed away. Away from the noise, away from everything. Free to take what was an intense physical experience and manifest it as an intensely emotional experience.