The Importance of Aftercare: Let’s Talk About Sub-Drop

I really haven’t blogged about anything sexually in the past, but I’m going to open up in this post and talk about the importance of after care for your sub. I have been active for about 5 years heavily in the fetish community, and I cringe everything I hear horror stories about oblivious Doms  Let’s talk about something called a SUBDROP.

Subdrop is usally the result of impact play. Impact play can include things like heavy spanking, paddling, flogging, caning, whipping, etx.. The application of pain release two key chemicals in the body. 

1) Adrenaline. Adrenaline is released at the onset of pain as part of the fight or flight response. It significally enchances the heart rate, dilates the pupils to allow more light in, makes you more sensative to touch.

In the moment, adrenaline can be hard to notice, it comes on so fast and so hard that you don’t always realize it. But when you come down from the adrenaline, it crashes on you. You feel cold because you blood has moved away from your extremities. You feel shaky because your mind is crashing, and you might even feel a little feint as your blood pressure which was moments ago sky-high, is now plummeting.

2) Endorphins: Endorphins are a really cool chemical that the body produces to make us feel good when maybe we shouldn’t. It helps makes pain. When you laugh for example, you body releases them to mask the pain that is caused by the spasming of your abdominal muscles. The rush can’t last forever unfortunately, and eventually laughing happily turns into laughing so hard that it hurts. That’s because the endorphins are wearing off and suddenly you can feel the discomfort (or pain) that your body was masking.

When pain is applied to a submissive by their dominant, the body releases massive doses of endorphins to counter-act the painful sensations, and the release of them can actually make the experience of pain, quite pleasurable. It’s been compared to morphine, and can make the submissive feel like they’re flying or having an out-of-body experience.

That’s SUBSPACE.

If you’ve ever had the privilege of seeing great sadists and masochists play together, you’ll understand exactly what I’m talking about and how beautiful it can be. It’s also why a dominant must be very good at understanding where their submissive is at, and well attuned to their facial expressions and orientations. Dominants, even deeply sadistic ones, care about, love, protect, and cherish their submissives, and that care can be seen in the intensity of their attentiveness.


The drop (subdrop) of course comes afterwards. When the impact play stops, so does the bodies dump of chemicals. Suddenly the paddling that hurt at first, then became pleasurable – now REALLY hurts. And the feeling of flying that the submissive was experiencing is now a physical and emotional CRASH. The submissive is likely in a fair amount of pain, potentially disoriented, light headed or dizzy due to the lack of blood (and therefor oxygen to the brain as the body pooled it’s resources internally), and certainly emotionally drained due to any adrenaline that is still pulsing through their veins.

That’s why AFTERCARE is so critical.

You’ll see the submissive come down from the St. Andrews cross, off the spanking bench, or out of the stocks and be held and loved by their dominant in a nice quiet, safe space where they can be together, alone. Snuggles will be had, lotions will be applied, hair will be stroked, tears will be kissed away. Away from the noise, away from everything. Free to take what was an intense physical experience and manifest it as an intensely emotional experience.

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How I Fell Back In Love With Metalcore. 

At that strange stage in you’re life. The stage where you’re most likely in High School and worrying about what others may think of you or where you exactly fall in line in perspective as in social groups I’ve lost my way I guess you can say. As a young black teen living in Southern Louisiana, the majority of my ethnic group (around 98%) listened to rap, and that it. My other “close” friends was into country. You was kinda shunned away if you was into metalcore or Rock because you seem “unstable.” And the people that did dressed in all black, I guess you could call them emo or scene kids. Anyways. Me trying to fit in with the “normal” people cause me to steer away from a genre that I loved. I honestly love all genre of music, just as long as I can vibe with it. 

Fast forward the clock, I’m just out here living life. My friend Mendoza that was also in the Army at the time told me to listen to this group that was becoming big called Crown The Empire. He told me go and check out their EP Limitless. And before you know it, I’m downloading the rest of their albums, and checking in on other bands like Memphis May Fire, Bullet for my Valentines, and A Day to Remember. 

It’s funny. It’s funny looking back at things and just thinking. “God. I was such a idiot to deviate from something I liked just worrying about getting judge.” Worrying about something so petty could’ve steer me in the wrong path and I probably missed meeting some pretty cool fucking people. So let’s all take time and revisit stuff you’ve love and you also can fall back in love with it. 

P.S: I know Crown the Empire gets a lot of crap for being a shitty metalcore band, but they’ll still my favorite right now and had been for the past two years 🤘🏽🤘🏽🤘🏽

Tips On Surviving Thanksgiving 2015

It’s November already. While you may already thinking about Christmas, you have to remember that you have to survive Thanksgiving first. For some Thanksgiving can be a very pleasant experience, but for some a couple of days back at home with your family can be very draining. Here are some tips for surviving Thanksgiving 2015.

Prepare Yourself: You know your family better than I do. You’ve been through many Thanksgivings before this one, so you should have an idea on what to expect. If you need meditation the night before, do it. Hide a couple of small bottles of alcohol or fill your flask with the good stuff. If you’re hosting the event make seating arrangements for the meal itself. If you have kids have them make cute name signs and have them place it. Adults usually are not going to change the seating if they know a child did it to avoid hurting his/her feelings because who wants an emotional child during Thanksgiving? Nobody. Don’t cook everything. Have members that coming to bring a dish.

Avoid Heavy Topic: When I say avoid heavy topics, I’m talking about politics or anything that usually get people fired up. Avoid it like the plaque. Break out into song or twerk if you have to.

Leave Social Media Alone: Not because it’s rude to your family, but because all you going to see on social media is your friend’s plate of foods and sadness. Also it’s Facebook law that 80% of your friends must complain about something.

Don’t Be An Early Bird: If you have the luxury of not having to stay with family during the night before Thanksgiving then stay your ass in bed till noonish. If you’re up watching the Thanksgiving parade with them you’re doing it wrong.

Keep the Kids Occupied: For the love of god have something set up for the kids. Have a game station set up for them or movies. Having a dedicated room for them would be ideal. If you have a teenager that’s perfect. Their job can be keeping the kids in line instead of staring into their phones all day long.

Get Out Of the Damn House: Nowhere it’s written that says you have to spend the day eating and just watching football. One of the things I actually like about my thanksgiving is that we actually get to play backyard football or go mudding. These events can bring you closer as a family.

That’s all I have for now. Have anything tips that I might’ve missed? Post them and your thoughts below!

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October 16′ Army NG Drill: APFT and Chill

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This October 2016 drill overall was one of the most relaxed drills I’ve had in a while. It was a two day drill and we started with the annual APFT (Army Physical Fitness Test) my whole sub section passed, which is awesome. I don’t have to worry about my officers breathing down my neck about it. I did really well scoring a 280/300. CrossFit has really helped maintain my fitness as I was able to run a sub 14min two mile which puts my run time 4th in our company.
After the APFT we did much of nothing. This year we’re having a winter annual training up north, so we was going to go over CBRNE raid and disposal scenarios. But it rained all day Saturday after the APFT and Sunday and the leadership didn’t want to get everything dirty since we will be leaving in December for annual training. The air assault infantry already called dibs on the drill hall, so we just basically sat around in the barracks studying our RECON pamphlets and did gave out information for our plane tickets.

Next month is a MUTA 8 drill (4 days) and it should be good one. We’re going to range to qualify with our individual’s weapons, so we have more time for field operations for annual training. Then we pack everything up for the C130 ride to winter wonderland. It’s already snowing there just waiting for us southerners. Thank god we don’t have to sleep in the field!

And sorry mom I couldn’t travel back and be with you for your 60th birthday weekend. Hopefully, we can go to beach next time around!

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We Go Forward….

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WE GO FORWARD

This is the truth. As a parents, you want to prepare your children for life and the obstacles that they will have to overcome. We want our kids to succeed, where we ourselves might have failed. Because no matter how much we would love to be there for them forever, we know that one day that won’t be the case.

Be sure to check out more of this artist work: http://owlturd.com/

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What love is…. to me anyways…

I see a lot of posts about how people think relationships mean having butterflies forever, your heart beating faster when they walk into a room, about cuddling together every night, legs intertwined, that you’d be so happy to live together you’d sleep on a double bed with each other every night.

And its not really like that, at least not to me.

You stop getting the butterflies when you live together. Your heart no longer speeds up when you see them, but instead, everything calms down. When you’re in the room with them, you feel calm, and secure. When you cuddle them you feel your heart beat slow, and the sound of their breathing carry you towards comfort. It doesn’t feel like a roller coaster anymore, it feels like home.

You don’t sleep curled up with each other every night, legs twisted between theirs so tight its hard to tell where yours begin and theirs end. Instead, you sleep comfortably, side by side, sometimes facing different directions. But every night, you find yourself scooting backwards on the bed so you bump into them. You snuggle against their arm, or stroke their hair as they fall asleep.

Kisses aren’t always romantic and fiery anymore. But there are so much more of them now. There the cold kisses when you’re eating ice cream in the summer, and sticky kisses over breakfast pancakes. There’s “im leaving now” kisses, and “one more kiss before you go” kisses. There’s sleepy morning kisses before work, when you don’t remember the alarm going off but instead the press of their lips against yours is what brings you into the day. There’s kisses before sleep, and, you are so sweet with the things you do kisses. There’s kisses because you treat animals so tenderly, and I’m so glad i’m with you and not someone else kisses. There’s quick kisses in the aisles of the grocery store, when its loud and you gravitate together, when instead of having your own personal space and their own personal space, its both of yours together, and you step into their chest to take up less area together.

You don’t always text each other with confessions of love and care like you used to, because that’s a given now, and you’ve moved on to quirky inside jokes about the life you’ve built together. You share looks of exasperation and amusement in public, your own little world against the outside one.

Relationships aren’t always a fairy tale. They’re not always fireworks and sparks, at least, after the start.
But they are a quiet rhythm and hum of love and care. It’s not a fire in your soul, but one in your heart, keeping you warm and comfortable, comforting you as you drowsily drift into sleep.

And I love that. What love is to you?

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JiNX thoughts on SNK 71: Shadis is kind of a dick!

Eren and the gang made it to the training site to meet up with Keith Shadis to see if he have any information that would be valuable to the SC. Here are some of my thoughts regarding Shadis in this chapter. I will make another post about Eren later on.

SHADIS… WHAT A SELF CENTERED DICK

Shadis lost a lot of respect for me in this chapter, but not all of it.17

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Shadis is a man that is driven by self worth, and what people think about him. During a conversation with Grisha, Grisha gave him a complement on going beyond the walls and being a member of the survey corps is for special and chosen people. As you can see this is his 1st time ever hearing something like this. This brings Shadis and Grisha closer, but l bet he wanted to hear that come out of Carla’s mouth and not Grisha, as we see in this chapter that Shadis obliviously had feelings for Carla, but Carla hated the survey corps. Later on an epidemic would break out and doctor Grisha will end up saving Carla’s life. In which, brings them closer together.

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Gutted! Shadis is absolutely gutted! The bottom two panel is so important because everyone in attendance are expressing joy for Grisha and Carla being wed together, except for Shadis.

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THE HURT! Shadis couldn’t even stay for the whole reception. On a real note, Shadis is feeling inferior. Not once did Carla think he was special. Carla thought he was an idiot for being in the Survey Corps, and now his relationship with Grisha and Carla will disintegrate because of his jealousy of Grisha being more special than him to win over Carla.

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Shadis is now commander of the Survey Corps. He is heavily criticized, people saw Shadis command as a waste, so far as commander he hasn’t really achieved anything. Also, he is know for going a straight forward approach when it come to attacking titans during expeditions, which is getting a lot of his members killed. Even Shadis overhear that citizen saying that it is not a good look for everyone to die and Shadis is till coming back alive. People are actually starting to notice Erwin at this point with his tactics he implemented with his squad. Erwin did not lose a single member due to his tactics. Above are panels in which Shadis return from an expedition to find out that Carla now has a son for Grisha. With everything happening around Grisha he obviously take it out on Carla. Trying to make her feel less “special” and “important” in society because of her occupation and how she would never understand what is greatness.

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You know what I like about the 1st panel? It could have been just an outburst after yet another useless mission, and it would have made sense like that. But that moment is much more significant. It is the moment Shadis finally admits, to himself more than anything, that he is not special. He’s just a normal person in an abnormal world. For all this time he selfishly seeked for people’s acknowledgement, that was all he wanted: to be noticed and recognized as special by everyone. And in this moment, the reality he built for himself finally collapses under the weight of the “real” reality. He loses his drive and does what he thinks is the only good thing he ever did: he passes the torch to special people. Special not only because of skills or intelligence but because their goal, their reasons go far beyond the normal, human need to be accepted and praised by others. They’re strong, so incredibly strong and they truly want to change the world, not only their reality.

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Fast forward a couple of years, and Eren is now in training to become a soldier and Shadis is now an instructor. To avenge his mom from being eaten by the titans. In the 1st set of panels above you can see Shadis purposely damaging his 3D maneuver gear, so he won’t be able to past that stage and become a soldier. He does this not in spite of Eren because he’s not his child, but to “protect” Eren. He knew how Carla felt about the survey corps and he knew if Eren goes down this road of vengeance it would be highly likely he would just die. Ultimately though Eren does pass and Shadis tells himself that he was unable to change anything. Hence why this chapter is called “Bystander.”

Final Thoughts: I believe that Shadis had great potential in being a “special” in his terms. From what I can gather, I think he was an exceptional fighter, and most likely a great soldier to be able to be in line for a commanding position. Along the way, he got lost. He wanted all the recognition. Putting himself before humanity was his downfall and it snowballed on him to the point where he felt he was worthless. I believe if he would listen to the soldiers around him and seriously took everyone ideas (especially Erwin’s) he would’ve gotten the acknowledgement. Acknowledgement of being a great leader that utilize everyone under his command efficiently to get the job done and open a new era of success for the Survey Corps. Instead he took the approach of it’s my way or the highway. Shadis will have to take all the lives lost under his command to his grave. I wonder though…. will Isayama give Shadis redemption? Will we see Shadis in action in the upcoming chapters? With the fight with the Beast Titan coming, maybe he will have a roll. Maybe something he does will help Eren or save Connie (Connie wants revenge on the beast titan due to what he did to his mother) I don’t know. but I have a feeling that we haven’t seen the last of Shadis.

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