PhD Grind: I’m so Extra?? 

Random but important !!

Don’t ever let people make you feel bad for spending time on your notes/making your notes look more etc. Our even something you’re doing in your current endeavors. So many times I’ve had people say ‘that’s a waste of time’ or ‘you’re so extra’ and it just like….. Wtf. 

If spending an extra 2-5 minutes to make your notes look a little organize is going to help you learn them better, or even if it just makes studying tolerable then that’s okay??? Keep doing it!! 

There’s honestly no worse people than the people who will try and make you feel bad about doing something you want to do. 

Success Takes Sacrifices. 

you can’t live the life you have & the life you want at the same time. You have to choose one. You have to change your habits completely.

Decide who it is you want to be, life is going to demand something entirely different for each decision.

Alot of people want to be successful but aren’t willing to give up the good for the great. They don’t want to live average lives, but maintain average habits. They want to work 40 hours a week, but not 80 to live their dreams.

Chasing your dreams isn’t a part time hustle. It’s more like 2 full time jobs. Living a few years, how others won’t- to spend the rest of your life how others dream.

Don’t let people fool you with their words and intentions. Don’t guide yourself by the habits of those who aren’t where you want to be. The road to success is a lonely one. We all have different obstacles to over come, and you need as little distractions in your life as possible.

Yeah…. You’re an abuser.. 

Terrifying someone into submission, you’re an abuser. 

Watching someone cry and telling at them to stop and invalidating their pain and reasons for crying, you’re an abuser. 

Staring at someone with disgust and contempt after they displease you, you’re an abuser. 

Threating someone to take their basic resource away if they don’t give you want you want, you’re a abuser. 

Forcing someone to feel ashamed for not loving up to your personal ideas, you’re a abuser. 

Using slurs,  hateful names,  and insults on someone without any regard to what it does to their mental health, you’re an abuser. 

Forcing someone to pursue unrealistic expectations and make them feel worthless when they don’t achieve it,  you’re an abuser. 

Acting as if someone is a waste of space and blaming them for your shortcomings, you’re an abuser. 

Makeing someone feel like they don’t deserve love, you’re an abuser. 

If you watch someone in pain and thought they deserved it, you’re an abuser. 

If someone can’t accept or love themselves from how badly you have treated them, you’re an abuser. 

How I Fell Back In Love With Metalcore. 

At that strange stage in you’re life. The stage where you’re most likely in High School and worrying about what others may think of you or where you exactly fall in line in perspective as in social groups I’ve lost my way I guess you can say. As a young black teen living in Southern Louisiana, the majority of my ethnic group (around 98%) listened to rap, and that it. My other “close” friends was into country. You was kinda shunned away if you was into metalcore or Rock because you seem “unstable.” And the people that did dressed in all black, I guess you could call them emo or scene kids. Anyways. Me trying to fit in with the “normal” people cause me to steer away from a genre that I loved. I honestly love all genre of music, just as long as I can vibe with it. 

Fast forward the clock, I’m just out here living life. My friend Mendoza that was also in the Army at the time told me to listen to this group that was becoming big called Crown The Empire. He told me go and check out their EP Limitless. And before you know it, I’m downloading the rest of their albums, and checking in on other bands like Memphis May Fire, Bullet for my Valentines, and A Day to Remember. 

It’s funny. It’s funny looking back at things and just thinking. “God. I was such a idiot to deviate from something I liked just worrying about getting judge.” Worrying about something so petty could’ve steer me in the wrong path and I probably missed meeting some pretty cool fucking people. So let’s all take time and revisit stuff you’ve love and you also can fall back in love with it. 

P.S: I know Crown the Empire gets a lot of crap for being a shitty metalcore band, but they’ll still my favorite right now and had been for the past two years 🤘🏽🤘🏽🤘🏽

IMO: Being A Dependant Should Be Avoided! 

In my opinion, you should never be content on being a dependent. Before I begin, I know there’s families out there and their current income allow one if them to stay home with the kids. Definitely when they’re aren’t old enough to go school. Daycare fees are a bitch. 

I’m logging in this post to say if you’re capable of being self-sufficient, but choose not, then that’s the wrong answer. I look back at when I was the most “miserable” and it was when I was 18 living on my own. I wasn’t grandfathered into a business or had help from my family.

 My family would absolutely loved to, but they wasn’t in a position to help me out financially and I was a long way from home trying to start my adulthood in a new city, so I couldn’t really sit down and have that great person convo that me and parents had. Anyways, that’s besides the point. I just don’t want you all to think my parents aren’t supportive. They’re fucking awesome. 

Anyways, I realized that I can only live the way I did because of the people around me. My biggest thing was being financially dependent on them. It didn’t matter what roommates I had, I just hate that feeling. “What if Johnny don’t have his share of the rent?” – “Is Daniel going to spend all his money on pot?” – “Can I trust Snuffy on this important task or is he going to mess me over again?” But I think there’s my problem, trust. I just don’t want to rely on anyone to sustain my way of life. 

Battling With The Feeling Of Uncertainty. 

In my mid twenties, you would think I would be use to this feeling of uncertainty. I’ve came a long way, accomplished many tasks, so in my mind I’m thinking I should have the confidence to meet certain deadlines of basic things that are “underneath” of what I did previously. I don’t know. I guess it’s a good thing because it keeps me sharp. It gets me to not get sloppy with my work or whatever I’m trying to accomplish. As they say, pressure can create dust or diamonds. I’m just trying not to break with everything going on right now. 

Reinforced Lessons: Don’t 👏🏽 Let 👏🏽 Nobody 👏🏽 Borrow 👏🏽 Your 👏🏽 Shit 👏🏽 UPDATE 1.0

January hasn’t been kind to me at all 😂 so I went into good year praying that all I had to get done was a alignment. Come to find out my right control arm is bent, so something that I thought was just going to cost $105 is now $621.51 😭😭😭

I guess that’s why I went to college to make the big bucks, but what a inconvenience. 

Jealously Is Unattractive 

“Jealousy is an ugly emotion, but it tells the truth. You mostly envy those who have what you desire.” – Susan Cain 

Let’s talk about this thing called jealously. Jealously is a natural emotion. Wither you envy someone relationship, material items or whatever. Yes. It’s okay to get jealous, but I’m a firm believer that you have to control your emotions. You might peep something you didn’t want to see, admire someone lifestyle, or hear stuff that makes you feel smaller to whom or whatever you’re comparing yourself too, but at no given time should you lash out at a individual. While it’s okay to get jealous, you have to learn how to swallow that pill. By not controlling your emotions you can permanently damage your relationship(s) with the people around you over something that’s so petty. Rant over. 

Reinforced Lessons: Don’t 👏🏽 Let 👏🏽 Nobody 👏🏽 Borrow 👏🏽 Your 👏🏽 Shit 👏🏽

Well the last 48 hours have been interesting enough. I let one of my friends borrow my car. When I got it back, a little piece of the tire was missing, part of my rim was scratch, and my alignment was off. Now yes I understand that sometimes shit happens, but let me go further into this situation. The condition of my friend borrowing my car is that everyone he had to use it just text that he was grabbing it and about what time I would have it back incase something comes up on my end. Well he couldn’t do even that. I woke up from a nap and my car was gone. Within the day he took my vehicle 4 times in which he never notified me he was doing so. Well apparently the damage was done on his 2nd trip, and of course he did not notify me. 

He told me about the damage when I was walking to my car, and he tried to downplay so much just by telling the rim was only scratch. Ugh. Whatever. But when I got into my car and start driving then I knew my alignment was completely fucked up. I call him to confront him about and then he told me like oh yeah by the way it’s a little off. 

Needless to say, I won’t be letting him or anybody use my shit. Unfortunately, it’s just too common that people these days have so much little respect for you and your property. And the worst thing is…… Dude didn’t even put gas in my car. 

Lesson has been reinforced. Nobody is borrowing my shit.  

Reinforced Lessons: Don’t rely on nobody. 

If you’ve followed my blog then you would know I live in downtown Austin, TX. Recently, I’ve been looking for another my second space. I’ve been trying to look at a couple of places in New Orleans since it’s really close to my family, and when I’m not there I could just rent it out to people. Of course it’s hard to shop for property when you’re not in the city looking at it yourself. 

Anyways, my friend that lives in the area agreed to help me out, but she’s killing me right now. As of today, she missed a couple of appointments that I arranged after I asked her if it was okay and didn’t conflict with her schedule. Some appointments she went on she totally forgot to take pictures or video of the inside. It’s so confusing because this individual seemed so squared away that I would’ve never thought that we would have these problems. 

At this point, I could find someone else but I’m just tired of all of this and have the mindset of if you want to do something right you have to do it yourself. I think we can all relate to people that said they had our backs or will do something, but short change you so much you’re just like wtf.