Grad School Probs Vol. 2


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What love is…. to me anyways…

I see a lot of posts about how people think relationships mean having butterflies forever, your heart beating faster when they walk into a room, about cuddling together every night, legs intertwined, that you’d be so happy to live together you’d sleep on a double bed with each other every night.

And its not really like that, at least not to me.

You stop getting the butterflies when you live together. Your heart no longer speeds up when you see them, but instead, everything calms down. When you’re in the room with them, you feel calm, and secure. When you cuddle them you feel your heart beat slow, and the sound of their breathing carry you towards comfort. It doesn’t feel like a roller coaster anymore, it feels like home.

You don’t sleep curled up with each other every night, legs twisted between theirs so tight its hard to tell where yours begin and theirs end. Instead, you sleep comfortably, side by side, sometimes facing different directions. But every night, you find yourself scooting backwards on the bed so you bump into them. You snuggle against their arm, or stroke their hair as they fall asleep.

Kisses aren’t always romantic and fiery anymore. But there are so much more of them now. There the cold kisses when you’re eating ice cream in the summer, and sticky kisses over breakfast pancakes. There’s “im leaving now” kisses, and “one more kiss before you go” kisses. There’s sleepy morning kisses before work, when you don’t remember the alarm going off but instead the press of their lips against yours is what brings you into the day. There’s kisses before sleep, and, you are so sweet with the things you do kisses. There’s kisses because you treat animals so tenderly, and I’m so glad i’m with you and not someone else kisses. There’s quick kisses in the aisles of the grocery store, when its loud and you gravitate together, when instead of having your own personal space and their own personal space, its both of yours together, and you step into their chest to take up less area together.

You don’t always text each other with confessions of love and care like you used to, because that’s a given now, and you’ve moved on to quirky inside jokes about the life you’ve built together. You share looks of exasperation and amusement in public, your own little world against the outside one.

Relationships aren’t always a fairy tale. They’re not always fireworks and sparks, at least, after the start.
But they are a quiet rhythm and hum of love and care. It’s not a fire in your soul, but one in your heart, keeping you warm and comfortable, comforting you as you drowsily drift into sleep.

And I love that. What love is to you?





Break up: Unrequited Love

Today, I had to do something I needed to do. It was very difficult, but I broke up with my girlfriend because of unrequited love. Basically, I was way into her than she was with me, and I’ve been disrespected in this relationship a lot. There was a lot of thinking to try and figure out what part of this was my doing, and what I could do to change it. I thought I did everything right. I showed her off to all my friends, planned exciting dates or at least what we were into, helped her out financially when she needed it, drop all my plans just to be with her when she needed me, but I never could get that from her. Not even a phone call.

I have not been lucky in love. I’ve been blessed with some amazing moments over the years, but somehow have managed to choose partners who did not want what I wanted, did not feel what I felt, and did not want to walk beside me into a future together. Unrequited love s toxic, and can eat you alive.

Right now it’s taking how much time I need to heal properly before even thinking about a next relationship. Trying to give someone my all while healing is a recipe for disaster, we all know this. For those of you have been blessed to find romantic love that is equally shared, I truly admire this, and I have set the intention to find it one day. It all starts with being aware, open, and ready. I don’t regret none of it. You live and learn.

snapchat: jynxs047

Dance God’s be with me…

Tonight is the night. The white and red tux is ready to go. My body is ready, and hopefully my mind will be too… Jamie and I been taking ball room dancing lessons to learn a routine, so I wouldn’t be a total noob at it when we have the floor. Jamie is pretty much a pro, so I’m excited to show her how far I came.

Confession time… You know when you see a black guy at a party, or whatever gathering and you just say to yourself “I bet that mofo can dance.” Then he proceeds to dance like Elaine from Seinfeld. Yeah.. I’m that black guy, but not tonight! It’s kinda funny that me and Jamie swap when it comes to racial sterotypes. She’s the white girl that can dance effortlessly. I just try and keep up. Anyways, I’m excited. Tonight I’ll be cha cha’n into those panties.

What Women need to understand about Men.

By the end of this post ladies hopefully you have a better understatement about men. Just like you guys have certain traits, so do we. Lets divulge

The Guy Code

There’s obvious strict dos and don’t that we will never violate. We don’t sleep around with our friends family member, keep our friends infidelities a secret, and whenever there’s a fight we back each other up. The problem is that women don’t understand how we can stick with our buddies even if we don’t agree with the morality of an judgment. There’s no judgment in the guy code.

The need to fix things

“Call Mike the mechanic? Hell no! I can’t fix this!… Mkay. Don’t believe me, just watch!” I’m a total bio nerd. I work in a lab for a living, but whenever something breaks it gives me an opportunity to whip out my toolbox or whatever I need to fix whatever broken. It’s just in a mans DNA. If we cannot fix it we call our bros over, brainstorm, and work while knocking back beers. It’s a male bonding experience, it’s just something we do. Again, the need to fix things just runs through our veins.

Fart Humor

I don’t get why we find farting situations hilarious, but we just do. Instead on rolling the windows down in the car we roll them up and make everyone in the car suffer.

Constantly Adjusting Our Junk

Everthing is moving around down there. Depending on the underwear our junk is chafing, pinching, and squeezing. So please… Pleeaassseee spare us from the disgusting looks or your eye rolls. You don’t have to live with big ass dick and balls.


I don’t get why women haven’t hopped on the sandwich train yet. They’re sandwiches! With unlimited sandwich combos! How?! How you ladies are not crazy about them?!

Destined To Be Grill Gods

You’re not a man until you can BBQ or grilling something with with grade A proficiency. Just like women may pass down recipes from generation to generation. Men pass this down to their sons. It’s enjoyable. Stand around the grill knocking back beer talking about oh well the meat is cooking with your guy friends around.

We like getting treated from time to time

As men I fell like majority of the time were making plans for dates, etc, etc. However, I can tell you it’s really appreciated when a girl tell us. My girlfriend Jamie told me “Hey I date night Saturday night. Dress casual. See your cute ass soon.” I was completely shocked! She even gave me flowers for that night. It’s rare, but just know it’s definitely appreciated and it’s a great idea introduce your man to something that you’re into. Also, trust me your man will most likely brag to your boys about it. Shit my girl brought me flowers and shit and took me out. What your girl doing?

Why we can’t ask for help.

Just like the reason we believe we can fix things. We can do anything and work through any problem. We just need some more time.

Holding on to certain objects.

As men there’s item that we refuse to replace. Like our favorite wallet, boots/shoes, watches, and even down to out comfortable holy underwear. So please ladies don’t try to understand. Just let us do us in this department.

Video Games

Ladies you may think they’re childish and we should grow up, but hear me out. I understand that you may not want to play COD, Destiny, GTAV, 2k, Madden or whatever with us for hours straight. A lot of guys don’t like to sit around watching movies or shows for end on end. Games combine our love of action, adventure with out love of competition. This is something you just have to let go.

Why we hate shopping so much

It’s annoying, boring, and expensive. Yes you look pretty. Yes that dress makes your hips/ass look perfect. Yes that new push up bra will push your boobs right in front of your face. CAN WE JUST PLEASE GO!

The Toilet Seat

We honestly try to remember to put the toilet seat down ladies we really do, but we’re on autopilot when urinating. I’m truly really sorry babe that you got your butt wet because you tried to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, and the seat was up.

Thirsty Thursdays! A little bar hopping


Jamie & Rebecca

Jamie’s week been pretty hectic, so we decided to go bar hopping tonight. I think it’s something we both needed. Her boss is pressing a lot from her lately. She have to pick up the slack until her employer hire another chem engineer. I’ve been busy with crossfit, working full time at the university doing research, and taking on two classes in grad school. Times like this is needed, even if it’s only for two hours.

I feel really relax sitting in bed right now waiting on Jamie to come to bed. Still debating if I should go to crossfit at 5:30am like I always do or sleep in and go into work at 9am. Love you guys. I’ll blog again shortly.


Last blog post this yr. A review of 2014.


(No shave November beard. Right before I had to shave it all off for drill)

2014…. What a crazy year this had been for me. I grew so much as an individual this year than I have the previous 25 years. Lets recap a little bit. Beginning this year, I was going into my last semester at LSU. I took my last 15hrs of course work I needed for my Biological Engineering degree, doing crossfit to lose weight and on top of that I worked nights at a local cancer hospital. I would hardly get any sleep. In the middle of the semester, I lost my best friend Brandon. A drunk driver hit Brandon while he walked on the sidewalk coming home one night. It destroyed me. I remember all the talks we had about graduating together. His mom pretty much left loved ones to start a new life in America. Brandon was the 1st generation of Japanese American in his family and he was just two months away from graduating LSU.. His mom was so proud. That’s all she would brag about. Like I said losing Brandon was awful. He was the best friend, roommate, study buddy anyone could ever ask for. At this point my grades was so iffy I told myself, I might as well drop out and try again in the fall semester. Severe depression was a bitch. For three months, I could barely eat one meal a day. I didn’t enjoy gaming at all anymore, which still holds true to this day. And the little time I did have to sleep I couldn’t. However, my parents and love ones told me to do it for him and so I did. In May, after five years at LSU I finally received my degree in Bio Engineering from LSU. About a month later, I got accepted into Texas University Grad school program. Brandon’s killer later on this year pleaded guilty.


(The top of my graduation cap all decked out with the help of my god child. Texas star to represent a new start in Texas.)

During the summer, before I left for Texas that fall, I reconnected with my some of my fiends. I hardly ever was a Facebook user. Still hardly use it today, but it was a platform to reach out to them. The past two years I was so career focused that I drifted away from a lot of my love ones. It was great to go back mudding, hoops, paint balling, bar hopping, going to different events and be able to enjoy myself when I was out. I went to Venice Beach, California. There I was able to finally try surfing. Getting better at it, but still have a long ways to go. I went by myself, but it was what I needed to self reflect and try to be a person that I wanted to be.

August comes around and to grad school I went. I found myself in pretty much the same position. Working and studying all the time, fighting to find a balance. I would actually catch a break. A full time position opened up at the university. I applied for it, two days later I had my interview with the Dr. Bennett. I “studied” for this interview, but during the actual interview I felt like I did a shitty job at selling myself. At the end of the interview he ask me what was my salary expectation. I told him 30k. I was going to ask for around 40k, but like I said, I felt like I didn’t sell myself good enough. He was looking for two Laboratory Assistants, somehow he hired me. At 25 years old, I finally was working a “real job.” Can’t tell you how grateful I was to get hired on. I was seeing everyone else I graduated with land great jobs. I was shocked and had some envy on how many got hired overseas! With working full time, I dropped out of my graduate classes. A lot still was going on for me at the moment.

Later Dr. Bennett would explain the university couldn’t pay me that little even if he was a asshole. Him and his staff was impressed with my internships with 3 months at NASA internship and a year at Mary Bird Perkins Cancer and hired me on as a Laboratory Assistant III with the salary of 52k a year. I said buh bye to my apartment and on the outskirts, paid the fee and moved downtown Austin.

After all those years studying, I finally can say it was worth it. A childhood friend/band mate would even come back into my life. I blog about it earlier. Go check out “Enter Rosilia” for more details on that subject.


           (What cha looking at Rosilia?!)


              (Jamie sneaking a picture)

At this point, I’m just living life. Working, volunteering for charity events, crossfit, got three tattoos, traveling and building a social life here in Texas. A woman named Jamie asked me out on a date. Few months later in December we are now “official.” Her family invited me to come with them to Costa Rica for Christmas and then they would come to Louisiana to ring in the New Years. I’ve lost 41lbss. I went from 211lbs to 170lbs (9% body fat) with all of the work I’ve been putting into crossfit. I’ve competed in a crossfit competition and doing another in January. I’m stoked, my friend is coming to document my events, so I will have more stuff to share with you all.


(Me at a crossfit competition. Sporting my 1st tattoo before I got my half sleeve done)

The most important thing I realize about myself this year is this: I had build walls and put blinders on for a long time, I just focus on my coursework and my career. What suffers in the meantime is relationship with my mother, with my dad, with my brothers, with my girl. Of course I love these people and they love me. And they’ll forgive me and they’ll be like “Oh, I understand, you’re so busy taking the necessary steps to improve the quality of your life.” That might work for a while, but at some point this year I was just like nah, man. I want to be a better son. Spend more time with my mom and dad and get to know them better. Same thing applies to my brothers, my girl and with my friends. It’s so easily get fooled by the artificial things. Yes, it’s great living downtown and not living paycheck to paycheck is a blessing. Real happiness doesn’t come from that. My character, the bonds that I make and the difference I can make to someone else life is what makes things worthwhile and last. Everything artificial, you keep on chasing and chasing it. Once you obtain something you’re just looking for the next thing to get. I still have a lot of growing to do. God willing, I will live many more years. At 26, I’m just figuring these things out.

Can’t say thank you enough for all the support. From the emails, to the DMs, you guys helped me get through the tough times.  Be safe this holiday season. Blog to y’all in 2015.