The Importance of Aftercare: Let’s Talk About Sub-Drop

I really haven’t blogged about anything sexually in the past, but I’m going to open up in this post and talk about the importance of after care for your sub. I have been active for about 5 years heavily in the fetish community, and I cringe everything I hear horror stories about oblivious Doms  Let’s talk about something called a SUBDROP.

Subdrop is usally the result of impact play. Impact play can include things like heavy spanking, paddling, flogging, caning, whipping, etx.. The application of pain release two key chemicals in the body. 

1) Adrenaline. Adrenaline is released at the onset of pain as part of the fight or flight response. It significally enchances the heart rate, dilates the pupils to allow more light in, makes you more sensative to touch.

In the moment, adrenaline can be hard to notice, it comes on so fast and so hard that you don’t always realize it. But when you come down from the adrenaline, it crashes on you. You feel cold because you blood has moved away from your extremities. You feel shaky because your mind is crashing, and you might even feel a little feint as your blood pressure which was moments ago sky-high, is now plummeting.

2) Endorphins: Endorphins are a really cool chemical that the body produces to make us feel good when maybe we shouldn’t. It helps makes pain. When you laugh for example, you body releases them to mask the pain that is caused by the spasming of your abdominal muscles. The rush can’t last forever unfortunately, and eventually laughing happily turns into laughing so hard that it hurts. That’s because the endorphins are wearing off and suddenly you can feel the discomfort (or pain) that your body was masking.

When pain is applied to a submissive by their dominant, the body releases massive doses of endorphins to counter-act the painful sensations, and the release of them can actually make the experience of pain, quite pleasurable. It’s been compared to morphine, and can make the submissive feel like they’re flying or having an out-of-body experience.

That’s SUBSPACE.

If you’ve ever had the privilege of seeing great sadists and masochists play together, you’ll understand exactly what I’m talking about and how beautiful it can be. It’s also why a dominant must be very good at understanding where their submissive is at, and well attuned to their facial expressions and orientations. Dominants, even deeply sadistic ones, care about, love, protect, and cherish their submissives, and that care can be seen in the intensity of their attentiveness.


The drop (subdrop) of course comes afterwards. When the impact play stops, so does the bodies dump of chemicals. Suddenly the paddling that hurt at first, then became pleasurable – now REALLY hurts. And the feeling of flying that the submissive was experiencing is now a physical and emotional CRASH. The submissive is likely in a fair amount of pain, potentially disoriented, light headed or dizzy due to the lack of blood (and therefor oxygen to the brain as the body pooled it’s resources internally), and certainly emotionally drained due to any adrenaline that is still pulsing through their veins.

That’s why AFTERCARE is so critical.

You’ll see the submissive come down from the St. Andrews cross, off the spanking bench, or out of the stocks and be held and loved by their dominant in a nice quiet, safe space where they can be together, alone. Snuggles will be had, lotions will be applied, hair will be stroked, tears will be kissed away. Away from the noise, away from everything. Free to take what was an intense physical experience and manifest it as an intensely emotional experience.

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Top 5 Most Emotional Game Moments

#5 Crisis Core – Zack’s Death

Crisis Core may have come out a long time after FF7 but the way it explained Zak’s story as well as introduced Cloud was perfect. We learn a lot more about Sephiroth as well as how Cloud came to own the buster sword. What made Zak’s death particularly sad for me is that apart from Cloud, he was alone. Angeal was gone, he hadn’t fulfilled his promise to Aerith and he’s faced by hundreds of Shinra soldiers. Even though he fights valiantly, in the end they prove too much and he’s shot down. Cloud’s scream to the clouds the final nail in this scene.

#4 Mass Effect 3 – Anderson’s Death

The one moment that hit me strongest though was the death of Admiral Anderson aboard the citadel. A bullet hole in his chest, blood and bruises all over his body; you can tell Anderson is reaching his breaking point. When both Shepard and Anderson are sitting down looking out over Earth, you think it’s all over you think that they finally succeeded. However Bioware decided that they hadn’t thrown enough curveballs your way and quickly snatch Anderson way from you. His last words telling you how proud he is of you and confirming that he thought of Shepard as a son.

#3 The Walking Dead Episode 5 – Clementine Shoots Lee

Clementine is a mature, kind, and polite girl, she acts as the moral compass of the group, and tries her best to maintain the humanity of the group in a post-apocalyptic world, but it’s because of her painful upbrining that made her this way. She lost her parents and later finds out that they’ve became “Walkers.” Lee, the guy that was looking after her got bit by them. Knowing that Lee would become a Walker himself she have a decision to shoot Lee. Making sure he doesn;t suffer the same fate of her parents.

#2 Gears of War 2 – Dom’s Wife

Maria  was the wife of Dom. She was a childhood friend of the Santiagos and Marcus Fenix, and she would later date and marry Dominic Santiago, shortly before giving birth to their first child, Benedicto Santiago, when they were both sixteen. They later had a second child two years later, named Sylvia Santiago. Maria’s children, along with her parents, were killed on Emergence Day. That event would lead to her depression and eventual self exile. After years of being missing, she was finally found by her husband and Marcus Fenix in a Locust prison camp only to find that she had been “processed” and severely tortured to the point that she couldn’t even recognize her own husband. Dom was forced to euthanize her to end her suffering, something he never recovered from. I remember playing this game and the scene hit me so hard I had to step back and take a moment. Dom died later in Gears of War 3, sacrificing himself for his squad. I believe however that Dom truly died during this scene.

#1 Metal Gear Solid Series – The Truth Behind The Boss

I really can’t put how I feel about this in words, but I found a video that caputres The Boss situation perfectly. The boss was a woman that litereally gave everything she had to the country she loved so much. Please give it a watch.

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