JiNX on Robin Williams

Robin Williams was an extraordinary individual. A person who touch the lives of many with an impact that most of us can ever think of doing. When I heard that Robin Williams died by suicide my heart dropped. With dealing with depression in the pass and had experiences of close friends of mines that commit suicide the story hit home for me. They say those that smile the most hides the most pain. Pretty true. Definitely when you talk about comedians. Got to remember, most of these guys stories come from real life experiences. I’m just sad that a man that put smiles on everyone faces was battling addiction and depression to the point where he rationalize that it was worth taking his own life.

I’ve been there. It’s a scary place. Severe depression will have all your foods tasteless. I remember taking 200-300mg of sleeping aide just to sleep 1hr at night. All the activities you loved to do you don’t love them anymore. You try and go out and have fun, but the cause of the depression doesn’t leave because you choose to go out. You don’t care about your goals. Your heart literally beating out your chest constantly. It’s a mental battle 24/7. Now imagine that, but for a period of three months. Seriously, just for three months with no signs it getting better. Go ahead take the depression medication. Then you start to overthink that you can’t function without being dependable on meds on sleepless night. It’s literally hell on Earth. Thankfully, I have amazing people that constantly showed me love with phone calls, visits and I was able to pull me through that funk and that was enough for me after a couple of months. I can easily sleep a good eight to nine hours without interruption now. I don’t know what demons besides addiction that Mr. Williams was dealing with that wasn’t on the record, but after YEARS of battling that, I kind of get it. I’ve read suicide notes of my friends and it is easy for a person that never had severe depression to feel like they’re a quitter. I admit, I’m not the same person anymore. I changed for the better that experience matured me a lot as an individual. For Mr. Williams I can only wonder what was going through his beautiful mind. He wasn’t perfect, but no man is.

Gone, but not forgotten. Robin Williams leave behind a tremendous legacy. The memories of watching movies like Alladin, Jumanji and Mrs. Doubtfire with my friends and family will always be there. He was a man that supported the troops and even went in harm’s way to entertain them. Gone for long hours visit to patients to brighten up their day. Even as he battled depression and his demons he always put a smile on other people’s faces, even when he couldn’t smile himself. For that he has my upmost respect. RIP Robin Williams. You’re free now genie.

If any of you guys are fighting depression it can be beat. Don’t be ashamed. That’s the biggest thing. Don’t be ashamed. There’s tons of resources out there for you. Don’t be that person that your pride gets in the way and you refuse to come in terms with reality and then it snowballs then making the road to recovery is harder.  You matter and your very important.

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” ― Shannon L. Alder.