What’s up ladies and gentlemen of the sanctuary. It’s JiNX, writing you another blog for the inter webs. Sorry for that little episode. It wasn’t about you guys at all (sappy break up excuse, I know, fuck me right), so for the ones that felt like my absence was about them please don’t feel that way. The reason I’m back is because of you guys. Even though I never see you guys in person with 5 years interacting together a lot of you are kinda like my extended family. I’ve decided to start this blog back from scratch. Bottom line: Losing my grandfather to cancer, a rough break up, my best friend being killed due to a hit and run, moving 10hrs away from home, family and friends by myself and then his mom committed suicide like a month later, I was just emotionally overloaded. All of this happened back to back and I just couldn’t catch a break. Part of growing up is learning how to cope when challenge with adversity. During this time period I grew a lot as an individual. Here are some healthy ways I coped with everything.
1) Understanding yourself: Each individual is different. Ways that your friend deal with break ups, depression, etc may be great guild lines to combat these issues, but they might not be exactly what you need to tackle your issues. A lot of people can’t handle being by themselves because they can’t handle their own thoughts. You can be your own worst enemy. Go out and do some things by yourself. Don’t invest all your time finding things out about other people when you’re sitting there and you don’t even know who you are.
2) Take care of yourself: Nobody gonna love you better than you. Eat healthy, exercise, socialize and do what you love. I was standing at 211lbs now I’m back down to the weight of 180lbs. CROSSFIT has not only help shred my pounds, but also giving me the opportunity to compete in CROSSFIT games. Having my body back has definitely been a confidence booster for me. I was a heavy gamer, but now I’m out socializing a lot more and I’m a lot more happier. It’s great to be able to enjoy being out with my old friends.
3) Grieve: Cry, scream, do whatever you have to do release whats hurting inside without inflicting self harm or harming someone else. You don’t have to display this to the world. Cry in the shower or somewhere you feel safe at to do so. Grieving is always a part of losing something or someone. You can’t avoid this process.
4) Outlets: During this time of need your going to need some help or someone to talk about your situation. Talk to your family or trusted friends. By allowing them to be there for you it strengthens your bond between each other. If you don’t have these outlets there’s plenty of online and phone options. Using these options doesn’t make you pathetic. It’s there for a reason. A lot of them are volunteers that already been what you’re going through and taking time out their lives to be there for you when you need them. Another great outlet is a journal. During the break up I wrote down all the resentments I had towards my ex partner instead of lashing out at her. Over a month doing this I no longer felt these resentments towards her and it allowed me to heal the right way instead of having hatred still built up in me. As time went along while addressing these issues in my journal I found out it was time to get off my high horse and recognize what I could have done better. This is very important if you want to grow.
5) Tackle life challenges: Life isn’t going to wait on you. For me, It would have been easy to cancel all the work I’ve done to move to Austin to stay comfortable in Baton Rouge and work as a Biologist at Perkins Cancer Center. I told myself to quit thinking about it and just do it, so I did. Even tho I’m miles away from everyone I know, I’m very happy with this decision. Living by myself, not living pay check to paycheck, exploring a new place have giving me a great deal of freedom and space so I continue to learn more about myself. Don’t worry, I’m going to call you back mom… I Promise!
Annnd that’s about it. The girl I’m dating went on a lunch date with her friends and we’re meeting up soon. Thank you guys for the love and support. Leave a comment, email me at Jinxedsanctuary@gmail.com or tweet/DM at @AnoleCreole